[Family] The Parable of The Garden Hose

The Parable of The Garden Hose…

I know I’m loved because of a garden hose.

Oh? You need backstory? Coming right up!


And recently he’s been doing well and I’m proud of him. He is not, nor has he ever been, demonstrative or affectionate. And like most Alphas, oh we want our Daddies to love us and tell us how proud they are.

We often learn love is “earned” by our father relationship. That’s a story for another day…

I love my Dad and I know he loves me though he says so very, very rarely. Our phone calls are about 2 mins and that’s okay…At least, they were 2 minutes until—–the weeds hit.

I started telling my dad I was struggling with the weeds in my yard. How fast they grow, how I have to mow more often. How I didn’t know which product to put out to help kill weeds while protecting grass.

Translation: His girl was in TROUBLE.

Do you see it Alphas? For the first time in, OVER 30 YEARS, I had a problem that I was sharing with my Dad that I hadn’t already ALPHA-ED! I still needed help.

My father, long retired, not able to walk long distances and no longer driving SPRANG into action.

He began calling me.
Checking my weather. Checking my grass. Did I find a product yet? Once I did find one, he had advice on spreaders. I did hand spreading but….the weed killer needed to be watered in! I put it down expecting to use the next rain for that and POOF. No more rain for a week! (You can’t make this stuff up.)

We debated if it would still work. It should’ve been watered in right away but….I didn’t have a garden hose.

Why not? Not sure. I had a fancy one with a box and left it at my last home and just never got one. My dad went into action to get his baby girl a Garden Hose! He recruited my Stepmom for research. They finally decided it should be purchased in Texas from a store that has a location here to avoid shipping.

My dad called me to get my local store options and when I took longer than expected…he followed up! My Stepmom, Yvonne is an angel and another Mother to me.

She called WalMart’s customer service when their website wouldn’t work. Twice. In one day. (For those of you who don’t know, such a thing is nearly suicidal, as proven by her 14 minute hold time on just call #1). 

And you know what? We know this is love. Recognizing a need and filling it and doing what it takes and recruiting the help you need.  But letting someone know a need they can fill? THAT IS LOVE TOO.

Lesson for you:
Don’t take as long as me to realize that you should be LOOKING for a problem that your parents can still solve for you. People NEED to be needed. To feel useful. To show love in return for all you do. Do not deprive them of a chance to HELP you Alpha.

Let your Help in, whether it’s your parents buying you a garden hose or a child holding the bowl while you stir…





I will not make this mistake again and am profoundly grateful to the weeds in my yard for bringing my Father into deeper connection with me.

He’s my hero again and it’s been WAY too long.

I’m ashamed to realize I missed this. (Shame is good, it motivates. Guilt? Bad. It paralyzes.) Free car washes here I come! Thank you Daddy!!! 




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Tanya Stewart
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