Why You Should Be Ticking People Off…
I am one of the gazillion members on Match. com the online dating site. I’ve been on and off it for years. The morning of my birthday I got a “hair-flaming, you suck a LOT email” from a rejected suitor.
And you know what? It felt MAGNIFICENT. Why you ask?
One of my mentors is Dan Kennedy, “The Millionaire Maker” who does marketing. He says if you are not pissing someone off, you are NOT taking a strong enough position on what you want.
When I had to say no for the 3rd time- I got firmer. This is what I said (I’m “E.”) that triggered his “retaliation email”:
I’m good. I stood my ground. I know what I want, so if I can see you don’t have it, well, I DON’T want you and…drumroll…you shouldn’t WANT ME TO.
Can you see what he’s complaining about?
He is complaining that I want things my way (I DO!) that I want a man similar to me (I DO!) that I won’t give someone who doesn’t fit a chance (I WON’T!)
He confuses my having ROCK SOLID CLARITY about what I want with conceit or perfection (IT’S NOT).
Let that be OKAY. (Just between us, you can do a Hell YES dance over it.)
People will tell you that you are “being too picky”, that “perfect” doesn’t exist, that you’ll NEVER GET IT.
Tell them whatever you want verbally and in your head scream HELL YES, I WILL GET IT! and HELL NO I WON’T LET YOU STEAL MY DREAM BECAUSE IT LOOKS TOO BIG TO YOU!
I have several powerful women clients that are unhappy right now because as I help them grow it is becoming very clear that they married THE WRONG GUY.
They listened to someone else (or their own fears) and settled. (No shame here – I did the EXACT SAME thing myself! And I broke free.)
Now that they are becoming confident, powerful, happy and magnetic creators the gulf is widening. They said yes to the GOOD and didn’t wait for the EXTRAORDINARY. Is that you?
How good are you at saying no? Saying no to the “good” opportunities is FREAKING CRITICAL to allow space for even a SINGLE extraordinary opportunity to show up.
Let me know when you are ready to learn to use the power of your NO, stand without injury when others are angry at you and finally, finally feel like starting that dream you kept putting away because it made someone ELSE uncomfortable…yeah. I get it.
P.S. EVERYTHING brings you lessons! That email reminded me:
1) Soft no’s aren’t always kinder
2) I do actually EXPECT what I am asking for and
3) NO ONE can disturb my Happiness without MY permission! Hell No.