[email protected]
 

Health & Wellbeing

Fearless Focus Coaching / Health & Wellbeing (Page 2)

[Fun Friday] My Top Use for That Gingerbread House Kit from LAST YEAR (Pics)

22

Dec

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2


 
My Top Use for That Gingerbread House Kit from LAST YEAR (Pics)

I bought my first gingerbread house making kit last year. I was excited to take it to my best friend’s (Victoria) home to share with her adult and super smart children – 2 of them are engineers – one is a freaking rocket scientist marrying another rocket scientist! I geek out over there.

But the …last year I spent Christmas at the beach…so…I kept it. What? It’s not like you EAT these things.


Being an optimist, I bought another Gingerbread kit, the TRAIN KIT this year. Now I had TWO.

The Plan? We break into teams and build them both. (Here’s the thing to save your sanity Alpha, “no plan survives first contact with the enemy” is a famous and USEFUL quote.)

Plan but be prepared to be FLEXIBLE!
 

We ate dinner and I baked my Monster Cookies (they are so freakin’ good it’s stupid – 465 (5) Star Reviews).

Her oldest son is engaged to themost awesome, gorgeous Alpha engineer! (Yes, there were timed rubik’s cube races before dinner – her best solving time is 59 seconds).

So I was excited to see what could be made from TWO gingerbread kits! Turns out? All the men left! Sleep and Star Wars decimated the ranks and THAT was when the magic happened.

Remember the HUGE snowstorm in GA a week ago? Guess who had saved snow for her California son and fiancé?

As a native of the Chicago suburbs, I KNOW snow and she hadn’t just saved ANY snow. She had safely preserved PACKING snow. Snowball making snow!

In a matter of minutes I threw out the insane idea of an indoor snowman and….

 


Ta-Dahh! The best re-purposing of gingerbread supply materials EVER!

Julie, our talented engineer handled actual construction and placement. I had awardrobe – hat, snowflakes and scarf (I’m a knitter! I had exactly ONE stray piece of black yarn on me!). Vic did set design, delivering our tree, right-sized ornament, and platter.


Even as he melted, we were all soo proud 😊

This holiday, don’t try to hold everything safely in the tracks of your expectations. The coolest adventures and memories are often SURPRISES!
 
 


P.S. Have you tried to write me only to have it bounce? I had a tech glitch. I am making it up to you by hosting Dear Abbey, scratch that – Dear Alpha! You can write me your whole messy issue and I’ll answer in a live and recorded call! Details here.


I celebrate Christmas, so Merry Christmas! Whatever you celebrate, go be present and love up your people. And don’t try to taste a “house”. They are NOT very edible, even when FRESH!

 

 
 


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

[Fun Friday] My Top Use for That Gingerbread House Kit from LAST YEAR (Pics) Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Actions] Why My Recent Email Failure Means YOU Are Getting a GIFT (Lemons -> Lemonade!)

20

Dec

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2


 
My Recent Email Failure Means YOU Get a Gift…


A pillar concept of my teachings to reduce the struggle in your life is taking 100% responsibility.


Alphas are hard-wired for responsibility, so we do this easier than other folks.


Catch? How good are you at taking 100% responsibility for something you had NOTHING to do with?    Yep. That’s way harder.


I just learned that Godaddy, my awesome web hosting & email company made a mistake. They did “something” that blocked you from talking to me! 


Some of you would hit reply (just like I asked!) to talk to me and got a screen that filtered you out like you were SPAM! 


F. 


Did I do this? No. Ask for this? NO. Is it my responsibility anyway because you trust me to lead you? YES. 


Some of you saw this screen: 


WTH Right? Made the calls and it should be FIXED now they say.


To demonstrate what 100% responsibility means I am going to make up for an error that was NOT mine.


If you tried to write me and hit a bounce, wall, delay or angry chicken – I want to make that up to you… So… 

You Get to Do “Dear Abbey” With Me
 
 



Here’s the plan. HIT reply now (it should work) or email me at: 

[email protected] and ask me about your issues.

Go on and make it MESSY.


Divorce? Health Issues? Defiant Kid? Best friend Drama? Money Woes? 

Bring it!


I’m going to get on a phone line live around New Years and answer all the questions I’ve gotten. You don’t have to be on the phone to get your answer but if you are, I’ll talk to you. I’ll help you understand my answer. And YES, you can listen in to “Dear Alpha” without having asked a question.


Anyone who sends in a detailed enough question WILL get a reply. 


Maybe I’ll get 2 maybe I’ll get 20. I’ll figure out how to handle that. This is how I shake off the total icky/sick feeling of disappointing some of you by looking technically incompetent and NOT knowing it. 


I don’t know what day I’ll do the call, I’ll send out an email with a “The Dear Alpha Advice Call” subject line. I’ll do it when it’ll feel good to me, so I am not adding stress to my holiday schedule.


See? Being responsible does NOT mean you have to martyr yourself! 


(I am also thinking of doing an emergency training on how to release a REALLY difficult family member or close friend who is abusive.) 

 
 
 


P.S. What if you didn’t try to talk to me and get bounced? Yes, you can still ask your question. I’m not going to come to school and just give a cake to a few of you. 😉  

It’s also a good way for me to see what you are all struggling with. It helps me know what to teach you about. So don’t hold on to your “stuff”. Ask. I can give you the next right step to get you started for 2018. Blame no one but yourself if you don’t take advantage of these moments God makes a way for you.

P.P.S. If you ever get a BOUNCE, PLEASE send me a screenshot! 🙂

 

 
 


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

[Actions] Why My Recent Email Failure Means YOU Are Getting a GIFT (Lemons -> Lemonade!) Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Blocks] Do you DECIDE & Then REGRET Your Decisions?

15

Dec

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2



Do you DECIDE & Then REGRET Your Decisions?

So, you made a tough call. Difficult decision. Finally and it’s done… Except that… it’s not.


Because you can’t leave it alone.

You constantly go back to it in your head.

·         Should you have said something different?

·         Is that really what they met?

·         Maybe you could’ve made it work?

·         Did you give up too easily?

·         Maybe this time, they really WOULD do it they say?


So here’s the funny thing about making the right call and then screwing with it – it kind of obviates (fancy word for renders fairly useless) the right call that you just made.


Why? Because you are PROVING spiritually, energetically and emotionally that you didn’t WANT to do whatever you just did! Because you resent and regret the decision you just made, you are in fact resisting it. And yes, any resistance is a form of fear which leads to fuckery.


So let’s assume you finally broke up with a guy who’s an idiot or fired that awful client. You went round and round the mulberry bush with him, consulted all your friends, the stars and even your cat. Everyone agreed – he’s an idiot. You say “No more!” and close your door.


…And three days later you’re crying and wondering if maybe you were too hasty?


The energy that you will now spend regretting your choice undoes the original value of the choice.


This is why the Bible says the Universe loves a “cheerful” giver. If you give to charity, a church or tithe and you do it out of a sense of obligation, fear or pressure you don’t get a blessing for giving.


Why? Because your residual doubts and regrets and worries tell the truth about your motive! So you do not get the same ‘bang for your buck’ from giving (pardon the pun!).


I have an awesome Alpha right now who has grown to where she can make a difficult decision, but after she makes it, she spins and needs a lot of support to hold the line. (Decision Making Phase #6 Below).


If you say to the Universe, I am letting this idiot go because I don’t date idiots and I’m worth more than that, that’s good.


When you then say “Oh wait, maybe… and What if?? and Maybe I should’ve…” you CANCEL that good and say I’m actually not quite as worthy as I thought and maybe I should double back for a little bit more abuse.


Spinning after making a decision indicates that you have challenges with your self-trust and self-worth.


If I was a medical doctor, I would tell you that challenged self-worth and self-trust are the equivalent of a pre-cancerous mole that need to be treated aggressively, because leaving it alone is not the best plan.




The simplest thing you can do right now, without more coaching, is to make a list (a very long list if you can) of all the reasons why your decision was made well at the time you made it and keep re-reading it when you start to spin.


Gauge Your Progress:  An Alpha Grows Through These 10

Common Stages of Decision Making


#1Cannot see that my decisions are poor


#2Can see that things aren’t working


#3Can see that my decisions are poor but can’t stop myself from making them


#4 Notice my decision is poor immediately after I make it


#5 Notice my decision is poor as I make it & begin trying to change


#6 Start making some good decisions but spin afterward


#7Making more good decisions with less spinning afterward


#8 Generally making good decisions that I can hold without anxiety or stress


#9 Almost always make a good decision and if I make a mistake, I course correct without beating myself up


#10 Decision Making BAD ASS


P.S.Happiness and confident decision-making skills go hand in hand. Unhappiness and indecision do too! Want to make good decisions? Talk to me. I have a few spots opening up for 1 on 1 coaching now 😊


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

[Blocks] Do you DECIDE & Then REGRET Your Decisions? Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Clarity] The Hot Guy vs. Gum (Winner Revealed!)

13

Dec

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2


The Hot Guy vs. Gum (Winner Revealed!)


Last week I was flying from Atlanta home to Chicago.


I’ve been flying a bit recently and kept joking with everyone that I was waiting to sit next to a 6’ 2” hot guy. (1.9m!)


What kept happening? I kept getting seated next to older women that I discovered needed some coaching. 😊  God spreads me around.


But finally! Finally. I’m boarding 83rd (literally) and walking down the aisle looking for an emergency exit row seat (those have the most legroom and on Southwest airline flights there is no assigned seating). 


And I always get an emergency exit row pretty much no matter when I board the plane. 


Sure enough, my favorite exit row, the window seat is open and hallelujah, seated on the aisle is 6’2″ hot guy!


I get seated, give thanks and immediately diginto my bag for the two things I always fly with – my knitting and some gum.


Knitting – check. Gum. Gum? Gum!!


No gum. Fudge. I even comment to Mr. Hot Guy that I forgot my gum (did you know that sympathy smiles look waaay better with dimples?)


After another full minute of fruitless searching for my take off gum, I give up.


I look up just in time to see an older woman smiling at my seat, or more accurately, at the seat BETWEEN me and Mr. Hot Guy!


This should be the point where I say that I immediately thought charitable and loving thoughts toward this woman. That is NOT what happened. 


For at least 15 seconds a string of epithets and woe ran through my head. And then I remembered – I remembered that I can’t lose my true mate. 


If he’s my mate, he would find a way to talk to me even if it meant he had to lean across her lap!


Soothed, I commenced theneighborly conversation with Ms. Hot Guy Blocker. 


Two minutes later she takes out the world’s largest container of gum and offers me a piece!


Asked God for a Hot Guy. Asked God for Gum.


Hot Guy vs. Gum – the Gum won!


The Universe knew that this particular hot guy wasn’t MY particular hot guy and that I really needed a piece a freaking gum. So, it sat this woman right between us so she could hand deliver my desired piece of gum!


That’s called manifestation.


Lesson: You may not get what you want but you always get what you need. Be grateful.
Later in the flight, I taught her how to knit on a round loom and all three of us ended up talking and laughing as we left the plane. 


And since I tear gum in half, I had a piece for my return flight too. 


In Joy,


P.S. Always be grateful for getting what you need! That is a Pre-Requisite to getting what you WANT! 

 

P.P.S. On the flight back, I finished this second hat (I love TEAL!) and chewed my half stick of gum next to a sleeping couple! As I’m not stupid, I will be keeping gum INmy knitting bag to prevent future Hot Guy cancellations!

 

 


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

[Clarity] The Hot Guy vs. Gum (Winner Revealed!) Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Tools] The “Noticer” Tools

08

Dec

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2



The “Noticer” Tools

I always teach from my own life. What two NEW things did I do last week?

Start attending a Pilates Mat class and go to a Dance Mediation Group.

What’s fun is that these two things seem to be for helping the BODY but you can use them to train your MIND too!

Here’s how to use The Noticer Tool:
  1. Pick some new group/class/event to go to that you have little experience in
  2. Go and NOTICE Your Monkey Mind, Your Ego’s chatter – Your Self Talk
  3. GENTLY make it a little NICER
 

 


Whatever you are doing to others (judging, criticizing, comparing) you are ALWAYS doing to yourself FIRST.

(Yes, this is the twin of the law, you cannot GIVE to others what you haven’t GIVEN to yourself First. I promise, you have ALREADY GIVEN to yourself, whatever you are about to GIVE to others. So if it’s bad, that’s bad.)

You becoming NICER in your head is all about YOU and your happiness and your goals working with less struggle.

Tanya Goes to Pilates Class

I have been out of the gym rehabbing my knees for months, so this is how I chose to return. Screw LOW Impact, NO impact, thank you!

Except…I went on Wednesday. Little did I know, Wednesday is Pilates of the Gods Day. You’d have thought Iwas a Pilates Instructor certification exam – brutal.

My Head? I’m proud, it’s well managed. As I looked at my own pretzeled self at others, I saw skill, flexibility and freaking MASTERY.

I knew years ago, I would’ve just made snarky comments about soccer moms with nothing better to do than rock out 3 min planks all day.

There was exactly ONE heavy woman in the room by me. I cheered for her. I respected her in moments when she had to rest. I knew old me would’ve placed her “below” me on the Pilates totem pole to FEEL better.

The kind instructor apologized for my coming to “a Wednesday class” for my very first time. You know how instructors will give you one or two variations on a move to make it really hard? (she called them teasers, see they have a lingo!) I’d say 70% of the class did every hardest version annnnnddddd HELD IT.

I could tell where I needed to push and I could tell where Tanya was done.

Old me would’ve been wondering what they thought of me having to rock in a fetal position (twice) to recover. Current me, imagined me reminding them of how far they’ve come since THEY started and looked just like ME.

Tanya Goes dancing Mediation Called Five Rhythms

My ego must’ve researched while I wasn’t looking and had a ready list of things to be concerned about – from 30 pairs of sweaty feet on the same floor to the deeply, spiritually woo-woo taking up way too much space with their dancing!

I just…noticed it. And it faded. Soon I began to look and allow. Look and accept. Look for things to PRAISE. A great figure. Flowy skirt. A couple dancing. I was awed at how we all were doing our own dance but it SOMEHOW flowed into a group pattern.

Remember: You are NOT the author of judgy thoughts, so you don’t have to claim them, keep them or feed them.

I danced for 2 hours and sweated and stomped and spun and felt SEXY and powerful and loved. My knees held up!
And by the end, I was blessing everyone I made eye contact with. It turned into a wonderful moving meditation for my business and life BECAUSE I could NOTICE to include rather than exclude.

When you next find yourself in any new situation where you will be tempted to compare, judge or criticize pull out your Noticing Tool.

See how much you can just NOTICE what your head is saying until you can gently shift it to something you could say OUT LOUD.

Whatever you are giving to others, you first gave to YOURSELF.



 


P.S.I’ve coached you before to tell you to go Find Something to SUCK AT! Do new things, notice your head, manage your head. Trust me, what your head will do in a Pilates class, it will do in a business meeting and in your relationship. Want help with that?  


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

[Tool] The “Noticer” Tools Facebook Twitter LinkedIn