[Focus Mag] Rejection – The Big Bad Wolf



Our FOCUSRejection



Why is it, that the people who have the lives you want, NEVER seem to get rejected?


That’s because they’ve taken back the power that rejection has over them by managing their thinking. Once you do that, rejection is marked “Passed” on your curriculum and you really do get less of it going forward!


You want less rejection and more acceptance in your life? Read on & do the work!



Lecrae – American Christian Hip-Hop Artist, Songwriter, Producer

If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.




Today’s TRAINING:   Rejection – The Big Bad Wolf




Tanya’s Five Common Types of Rejection:


Wrongful Rejection – Someone blocks what you have earned.

Appropriate Rejection – You haven’t earned what you were seeking.

Divine Rejection – Redirection by the Universe when you are going the Wrong Way.

Expected Rejection – You decide (fear) you’ll get rejected, so you Self-Sabotage your attempt.

Self-Rejection – You don’t even don’t even try because you “know” you’ll be rejected.




Wrongful Rejection – Someone blocks what you have earned.


The first kind of rejection is the one that we focus on the most, wrongful rejection. Our focus on it is misplaced, as it is not nearly as common as your ego would have you think it is. Wrongful rejection is a lot like the way we think about violence against women.


The first thing that pops in our minds is a stranger attacking a woman in public. But most of the violence on women come from people they know, inside their own homes.


Wrongful rejection is terrible when it happens but it is not the most likely way you’ll tangle with rejection.


An example? Years ago I got on the wrong side of a very “aggressive” judge. This judge decided they did NOT like my client (I was his second attorney, long story) and wanted to punish him. The judge did something illegal and me? I objected and moved to block the order in writing.


THAT led to the Judge calling my office, getting my HOME telephone number and calling me out a shower to tell me that she was FINING ME (not her words) $1,500 that I was to pay to someone she liked or INSERT OMINOUS PAUSE threat to me.


The correct order that I submitted was of course REJECTED and the one she wanted, entered. And yes, I paid the money. Very. Very angrily.


(Happily, Universe keeps good books and I heard years after I’d left the practice this Judge was finally REMOVED from the bench!)


Wrongful rejections are rare.




Appropriate Rejection – You haven’t earned what you were seeking.


The second type of rejection is one we don’t want to talk about. This is rejection that is warranted.  You should’ve gotten rejected, because you were not qualified to receive what you were seeking to receive.


This is when your son goes out for the baseball team and hasn’t practiced all summer-so now he’s not as good as he was last year and doesn’t get the star spot.


Mostly, we are hurt by rejection when we don’t get what we want and very rarely do we stop to look to see if what we truly deserved what it was we wanted. Remember Alpha, you get what you are not what you want.


It seems to me from looking at the history of just my own country, the United States, that years ago we were more accepting of appropriate rejections. Now it appears, that the moment anyone is rejected, they instantly seek to make it a wrongful rejection without even considering whether it had merit.


I have actually had a man who didn’t believe in God, argue with me (a full time Spiritual Teacher) that I should date his atheist self because as a believer in God, I should be kinder and more open minded like my God commands and less biased against him because of his differing views! True story.


I’m fit and have had woefully unfit men argue their rejection.  Why You Should Be Ticking People Off…


Alphas. Want what you want and if it’s not what you already are, change.




Divine Rejection – Redirection by the Universe when you are going the Wrong Way.


Divine rejection has to be my favorite. It requires trust, which is why many of us struggle with this one. Divine rejection is when you’re going to wrong way and the Universe puts blocks in your path to turn you.


We are so programmed to believe that somebody is trying to take something from us that we should have that it doesn’t occur to us that we may be trying to get something that isn’t good for us or isn’t good enough for us.


Divine rejection is when God closes a door that leads to a burning building.


When your trust is solid, you can accept all rejection as redirection, even if the ‘delivery guy’ isn’t wearing angel’s wings!




Expected Rejection – You decide (fear) you’ll get rejected, so you Self-Sabotage your attempt.


Expected rejection is plain and simple your self-sabotage. This is when you expect people to reject you, so you subconsciously behave in ways that make it a lot more likely that you will be rejected.


This is the guy that’s convinced that the amazing girl couldn’t possibly be interested in him. So when he goes up to her, he has his defenses up and ends up acting like an ass.  Result? She’s not interested in him. And guess what? It’s just what he expected. That is the law. 


Expectation creates. All those stories in your head about the past where you screwed up? They help form your future expectations of failure and keep you screwing up. The rejection then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.




Self-Rejection – You don’t even don’t even TRY because you “know” you’ll be rejected.


Probably the most deadly of all the rejections and the least talked about is self-rejection – that’s where you don’t make any effort. It’s not easy to spot. You become so convinced that the world isn’t going to help you, that people ARE going to reject you, that you take NO chances.


You literally never asked the question, Will you? So you never get the know. Which means… It’s always a HELL NO!



If you are clever, and you are, you’ll notice that ALL of the rejections come from your thinking!


Expected & Self-Rejection, clearly come from your poor thinking. Appropriate rejection comes from your lack of merit, which starts with the thoughts and beliefs that prevented right actions to earn your way.


Wrongful Rejection? You just rendezvoused with a BIG JERK. What were you doing to ATTRACT this crazy person into your life? (Nope, I don’t remember what I did, but I know I did SOMETHING). So this is still you and the focus of your thinking.


4/5 you say. Nope. 5/5. Divine Rejection same deal. You have shut off your intuition, guidance, gut, small still voice – whatever you would like to name it. Your thoughts are blocking your right choices, which leads to this Divine Rejection Intervention.


All your stinking thinking leads to rejections. Now do you see why folks who have great success get rejected a lot less? They manage their minds better.


Control your thoughts, you control your words, your choices, your actions, your focus, your energy, your results and who you attract.


The rejections that you still get, won’t phase you because an Alpha in good control of her mind is self-confident, self-trusting, worthy and forgives people. She CAN be told no, but usually isn’t!


Tanya Recommends:



I told you that I love incense and I just discovered a new cool place to burn it, outside! I burn it on my front porch as I pace back and forth and work or relax!


I tend to have high end incense tastes but I wanted to share the most inexpensive incense I have found that I really like!


Gonesh #6 Perfumes of Ancient Times & Gonesh #14 Perfumes of a Mystic Forest


I have seen them at Walmart for $2.00 and just found them at a beauty supply store (I know, right?) for $1.49 a pack.


If you see the brand, give it a shot. Like anything, the more expensive the product, generally the safer it is and better the ingredients, but these are good for occasional burning.




Assume for the next 30 days that every rejection you get is merely a Divine Redirection.


Notice how easily you recover, how there is no one to “forgive” and how whatever comes next is better, an upgrade.


Rejection gets it’s sting from the stories we tell ourselves about WHY we were rejected. No bad story? No bad sting.






Rejection is all about trust that you are never kept away from that which you are ready for. When that is true, if you don’t have some good thing, it’s because you aren’t ready for it yet.


The way to get what you desire is improve, to change something about yourself.


If I asked Serena Williams onto the tennis court to play, I’d get rejected. If I want to play at that level, she doesn’t need to be kinder, I need to improve. Trust that you are always receiving your subconscious self-worth.






Wow Did You Hear?




Anna, Coaching Client Getting Results from My Affirmation


“These powerful words were given to me by my personal Business and Life Coach, Tanya Stewart.  <3  <3  <3


Whenever, I say them, my face begins to smile, because it creates in the pit of my stomach, a wide-eye feeling of excitement, wonder and anticipation. I feel like a child on Christmas morning wondering what’s there for me under the tree. The feeling is DELICIOUS!”


My Reply:


That is a LETTER perfect description of how an affirmation should make you feel JUST FROM SAYING IT!


If it makes you feel like that saying it, it WILL do its work. Too many say an affirmation that has no life or isn’t believable and look only for it’s result. Under those conditions, it’s not coming. We create and attract and manifest out of joy, expectation and faith  <3 I love you, Anna.

Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!

If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for

YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


[Focus Mag] Rejection – The Big Bad WolfFacebook Twitter LinkedIn


Talk to Tanya


My Mission:

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop


in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

Tanya Stewart
No Comments

Leave a Comment